MY Big Fat Messy Life…..

Don’t you know those days that you wake up and think…..Is this really my life? How did I get here? This is not what I expected. Not what I planned for. Life can throw us curve balls and sometimes we didn’t even know we were in the game, much less be prepared to catch the ball. We are great at making the plans, plotting out our life, knowing the path we want to take then LIFE HAPPENED…..LIFE  interrupted our plans. LIFE got messy.

One of the biggest obstacles that I see in working with people is our expectation of what we thought LIFE would look like. Our LIFE. We never thought we would be raising a child or children alone, have to deal with illness, divorce, death, caring for our elderly parents, working full time, losing a job, struggling financially….the list goes on. We all have our “I can’t believe this is true for my life” stuff. Expectations are the biggest JOY stealers and heart breakers I know.

Well life is MESSY and it does not matter if it has been caused by a poor choice you made, a choice that someone else made or that life just happened. It’s what we do with the mess that really matters. Can you find meaning in the mess, balance in the unbalanced, faith in the fear? One of my all time favorite verses is Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a mans heart, BUT it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

THANK GOD! Thank God he has a purpose for this messy life, my life and that it will prevail if my faith is in Him! It’s in the putting down and letting go of the expectations we have been carrying, then opening our hearts and hands to pick up new blessings that we didn’t expect! Walking in faith, step by step, day by day. As Henri Nouwen says, ” There is always joy in the mist of sorrow, you can’t separate the two.” We just get so lost in the mess that we miss the joy. If we get caught up in the disappointments and focus on what our life isn’t….. we miss what  IT IS.

As a coach I encourage people to take ownership of their LIFE, whatever it looks like, IT IS YOUR LIFE. Look at it and see if you are in balance with your relationships, spiritual life, emotional and phyical health, work and fun. Ask yourself “What needs more attention? What needs less? What is missing from my life?” Open your eyes and with a grateful heart search for meaning and joy, it’s there even in the simple everyday happenings.

And lastly, the other thing that stands in the way finding joy in the mess is unforgiveness. Whether it is to forgive yourself or another we are called to forgive. It is not an …I will forgive “If or When” it is a “I must forgive in order to live fully.” When we get stalled in the forgiveness process we lose sight of all the goodness around us. Nothing happens outside of God’s presence……..

He is in all things….. even in the MESS!