Exit stage left……Again!

As a mother of 5 you would think that I am getting use to the coming and goings of my children. With the older ones they all have left for college, then moved home for a few brief months only to get their “grown up” legs under them, before moving out on their own. My little ones come and go on a regular basis between their father and myself, a pattern that is familiar and known. This weekly letting go, as difficult as it is as a mother, has become a little break with the understanding that they will be back under my roof soon. With the final departure of each of the big boys, I find a mixture of sadness and joy. Sadness in the letting go and joy in their new found freedom, independence and the adventures that lay ahead. David and Andrew have flown, found their own nests and are on their journey….

Last night I was caught off guard with the going of Michael….He is my one that has come and gone the most. Off to college, home from college, off to China, home from China, off on Tour, home from Tour….Last night he left to live out on his own. Knew it was coming but as he drove away I found tears in my eyes and an UGH in my heart again, one more truly out of my nest. As I laid down in bed I felt the final cut of his leaving and wept. We raise these wonderful children, who drive us crazy at times but bring us unimaginable joy that cannot be replaced. For years we do our best and so do they, as we share a roof. Then we have to let go, believe for them and in them, pray for God’s presence to follow them wherever their path takes them, and trust that all you placed inside is enough to carry them on their journey. Yes, caught off guard again….

Michael is an amazing young man with many gifts and talents, he is gentle and kind and will be a gift to the world he is walking into. I know he will visit my roof but the daily fuzzy face rubs and wonderful live music that filled my home is gone. What a gift that was….he was.

As I woke this morning with a lingering sadness it was quickly replaced with a smile as I heard Grace in the shower singing Mariah Carey at the top of her lungs, in April “ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU!!!”. Then Jackson was calling me into his room to look over a few shirts he had laid out asking me, “Which one do you think (Girl he has a crush on) would think I looked good in?” Okay, thanks God for reminding me I still have chicks in my nest and love, music and laughter under my roof!

What an incredible adventure being a mother is with all the joys, sorrows, music, meals, conversation’s, challenges, games and laughter this gift of 5 has given me, I call myself BLESSED!