Invisible
Posted by Merrill on Oct 8, 2012 | 3 comments
Last night at Youth Group a brave young man got up and shared his story. This high schooler is always up at the church helping, hanging out, with a quick smile. But last night he shared how the last two years have not been easy, in fact they were just down right painful. The transition into high school was a tough adjustment, bigger crowds of kids, friends choosing new groups and leaving him without a place to belong was just the beginning of a very difficult couple years. At one of the very lowest points he walked up to a group of kids at lunch and was told, “We are trying to cut down the number of people at our table, you will have to find another place to sit.”
My heart broke, as I knew his did in that moment.
He had become invisible. No one knew how bad his heart hurt. How lonely he felt. No one cared if he was in a good place or a bad place. He would come to church, put on a face, no one knew that he was thinking life was not worth living.
If we are honest, most of us have felt like that at one time or another. Does anyone see me? Does anyone care that I am going down with the ship? Does anyone see my pain? Lonely even in a crowd, we feel invisible, as they look right through us.
As a life/family coach I always remind parents that the 3 most important needs for kids are to feel safe, loved and heard. It’s not just kids that need to feel that way, we all do. But if we start with the people under our roof , and the people we care the most about, we will begin to change the world we live in. We all need to be aware of the people that are right in front of us that we look right through because they are difficult, boring, don’t fit in, make us uncomfortable, or we are just too busy to stop and share a bit of the grace and love we’ve been given.
Lastly, this boys parents are wonderful parents, but it can be hard to share the painful, ugly, and unseen things we are feeling. Eventually he broke and told his parents how he felt. It was in this moment that the load got lighter. He let them in.
Lessons learned…
We all can feel invisible at times.
We all carry things others cannot see.
We need to share our pain with those we trust to speak love, truth and grace into our hurting lives.
We all have the ability to open our eyes and hearts to those around us and offer a bit of love and grace.
Out of the mouth of a teen, because he was so courageous to share his story, we have many lessons learned.
Thanks Eric.
Merrill Is a mother of 5 who has found her calling in sharing her experiences from life with others. She can help you break out of your routine to live life to its fullest potential.
This is very encouraging, I’m a second year college student and I find myself in this exact situation. Wondering if people care, and wondering what happened to the joy in life. I had to grow up really quickly my senior year of high school and although I have dealt with a lot of stuff the scar tissue is still there and it hurts. Some days just down right suck, but I always try and find a light in the darkness and hold on to it as long as possible and then go to the next light. If anything I’ve learned to be grateful for all the struggles I’ve been through, it gives me the opportunity to help others get through what I have been through. Thank you for this, it really hit home.
Ryan, Wow! Thanks for sharing. If we all could learn to comfort, love and extend grace with the grace we’ve been given the world would be a little more gentle and joyful. There is always joy in the midst of sorrow, you just have to look for it, seek it out and trust it is there. For we would never know one if we didn’t understand the other.
Prayers … for JOY, strength and comfort and but most of all to know you are LOVED! Peace, M
Born into a military family, I was always the “new girl” in school. I never spent an entire year in one school. To this day, (I am 67), I have to suppress the reaction of anxiety when I approach others (strangers or friends). No one would ever suspect, since I am usually talkative (no?, says Merrill and my friends and family) Several times in my life, I have approached the lonliest looking person in the room, forcing myself to make conversation. These individuals have become some of my dearest friends. One person, a fellow little league mother, came into my house when our son died, ran the vacuum, organized, greeted guests, sheltered us, labeled all of the food containers and returned them to their owners. She had never been inside my home before. Her name is Mary Alice Martin and I will never ever forget her kindness. It is wierd that I cannot bring myself to “barge in” like that when someone else is hurting. You would think that having been ministered to in that way, I could “pay it forward”, but that same “shyness” prohibits me from acting. I am not proud of that, just analyzing, “why we do what we do(or don’t do)”. This confession of this young man so touched my heart that I couldn’t help sharing, Merrill. (I LOVE what you do!” Keep it up! Carol