Short Stick

I find that in a life that is shared with others, loved ones, especially family, no matter how hard we try to make and keep everyone happy, someone draws the Short Stick. With each situation it is different.

Some days it’s the kids or a specific child who been given the Short Stick. Other times it can be a spouse, friend or family member. Maybe it’s work. It can even be the house after a long week of running. But more often it is you…..the woman, the mom, the wife, because we are usually more comfortable being the owner of the Short Stick.

The key to this is that wonderful word balance, and understanding without guilt, that life is a matter of choices presented to us moment by moment in this fast life we live. It is in the moments that we need the wisdom to decide, acknowledge and accept who has to be holder of the stick, with the understanding that he or she will not have to hold the stick forever but just for this moment. It should be temporary; the game should be played so that everyone gets a turn.

Life isn’t fair but in this game the short stick needs to change hands to keep balance. Husbands and wives should share stick holding, families need to toss it around, and even friends sometimes must hold the stick for another they love deeply.

A big foul in this game is when we as women always try to be the keeper of the stick, a stick hog of sorts. We do this because we hate to cause disruption, difficulty, unpleasantness or pain in those around us. And maybe if we have held it long enough it then becomes a power play to keep control of the game. This is a fantasy that we sadly believe can be reality.
The sad effect is that when we hold it too long we become tired, worn out teammates and are no good to the team as a whole or more importantly to ourselves. We find ourselves resentful, angry and lonely because we have been playing this game alone instead of sharing life’s curveballs. The life has been sucked out. You are benched!

As mothers, wives, lovers, friends and most of all women, we need to SHARE the stick, without guilt or shame. Make choices in that moment that are good for you when you need to, because you are no good to anyone if you are not taking care of yourself. Life is a series of give and takes, wins and loses, short sticks and long sticks. We just need to remember that nobody should have to hold the stick too long, even us. There is no glory in being a worn out player trying to win alone. This game is meant to be played as a team and is better celebrating the win with those we love.

Today I challenge you to tell someone to go long and pass that stick!