A Beautiful Mess

Parenting is messy at best. We try. We act all big and grown up, but sometimes we just blow it. I know I have. Every parent does. I want to be a good parent, doing and saying all the things that will help my children feel loved, smart, special, safe and adored. I want those wonderful learning moments, when you know you are a part of creating a wonderful human being that you will share with the world someday. I love those nose to nose moments where you share, giggle, sing and dream together. But mixed there are moments that just hurt and ache. You get a little edgy, tired, scared or worn and the words that come out are short, tough and ugly.
Like the time I demanded Jackson to, “Please be a more grown up little boy!!”
Isn’t that an oxymoron?
I literally laughed out loud at my silly self, while Jackson looked at me as if I needed a strait jacket.
It is in these moments that I have come to understand that perfect doesn’t exist, because if it did this is the one place I would want that label. Parents are human, and humans are not perfect, even though we like our kids to think we are. The fact is they will grow up and see us though grown up eyes, with all our flaws and short comings and will love and visit us anyway, if we are lucky. It is my hope that most parents are trying their darnedest to be the best example of being human for our kids while they are under their roof’s. Besides putting our phones down or stepping away from the computer to “Be With” those we love, “I’m sorry” is a good start.  Taking ownership of bad, tired or desperately needing “time out” behavior is what is needed no matter how old you are.
When coaching parents I often hear, “My children don’t respect me.”
I respond with, “It is earned.” Yes, and part of the process is knowing when to say, “I’m sorry.”

As I have gotten older I will take the label parent over perfect everyday,
as my children will take loved over perfect too and find myself embracing the mess that covers us all.
Head to toe, one and all, for it is in this mess that beautiful things are born and exist.