Keeping it real in the “Ah Ha” moments of owning a dog and parenthood…
I have this really cute dog, Moglee.
He was little when we first got him and couldn’t get his cute little self up in the car when we took him along for rides, so I would bend down and lift his little furry self into the back seat.
Well as he grew, I kept lifting that furry fanny into the car. He would run to the garage, then stand by the car, waiting for me to lift his backside up into the backseat. And I did. Day after day, month after month. He wouldn’t jump.
I would do the work and lift. He would ride.
One day, when I was not in a hurry, I decided to wait and see if I could get him to jump up into the back seat by himself.
(note: he is almost 2 and very CAPABLE. He has no trouble jumping on beds, couches, or all over the yard)
I took a ball (he is very ball driven) threw it in the car and what do you know? He jumped up!
Since then I have not lifted him once. I just say “Up” and he gets in.
He has been doing this for months now, but yesterday as he leaped up into the backseat for a ride I had the “Ah-ha” moment.
Moglee not jumping for almost the first 2 years of his dog life, represented how enabling plays out in our daily lives. By my lifting, he never had to jump.
I thought of all the places we as parents lift/DO for our kids, when they are totally capable of jumping/DOING for themselves.
If we make their bed, why should they? If we put their dishes away, they will always leave them on the table or in the sink. If we do their homework, how will they learn?
This is true in all of our relationships. Friends, family, co-workers…
If we lift, they will let us and won’t learn that they can DO for themselves.
I laughed, got in the car and told Grace about my “Ah-ha” moment, to which she smiled, and I am sure thought, “How is this going to affect me!”
Lifting is not about loving. We are to lift, until they are capable of doing.
It’s our job to know when to back away and let them JUMP!
No more lifting furry fannies into the car in 2016~